Sunday, November 04, 2007

seen yesterday while swimming laps

I was sitting on a ledge near the pool, drying off and resting after my workout yesterday afternoon when I heard a strange noise. it sounded like someone was trying to hock a loogie, and since the pool was relatively deserted aside from 1-2 families and a few lap swimmers I figured it was one of the 15-year-old lifeguards trying to amuse himself in the little side office. the noise persisted, and I looked around to try and find the culprit. turns out it was this 65-ish looking gentleman standing IN THE LAP LANE, trying to dislodge some serious phlegm from his throat as he stood there in the water with his belly paunching out and his ear hairs growing in imaginative patterns.

I became even more horrified when the hocking sounds stopped and I realized that he had successfully brought up all of the offending phlegm. WHAT WAS HE GOING TO DO WITH IT?? please tell me he is not going to spit it back into the water or just casually spit it into his hand and run his fingers through the chlorine. please, please, please, because if he does, I swear to God I'm never coming back to this pool, I don't care that it's free, that it's a great workout, that I can still swim outside in November, etc. as I continued to stare at him from behind the protection of my sunglasses, he casually picked up a green plastic Nalgene-esque water bottle, unscrewed the cap, and spit the contents of his mouth into the bottle as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

WHAT. THE HELL.

I then left and went home and took an extremely hot shower.

3 Comments:

At 12:14 PM, Blogger L Sass said...

Eewww... Straight up gross, no doubt about it. But, at least it isn't in your swimming water.

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger Erica said...

Blech. thank you for sharing.

 
At 3:33 PM, Anonymous samlikestoreadjensblog said...

what, you didn't know the modern version of the 18th century spitoon is the nalgene bottle? how positively ignorant.

 

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