daydreaming

there is much drama afoot at ye olde office, and every night I come home and find myself fantasizing about just picking up and disappearing someplace. I look at my stack of travel books and all my old travel photos, and I wonder why I am sweating it out in Tejas when heck, I could be caving in Belize again or hiking glaciers in Argentina or roaming the streets of Venice, gelato in hand... or maybe discovering a new place like Cambodia or Kenya or Ireland.

(side note on sweating it out = I'm not kidding. yesterday it hit 95. in OCTOBER. WTF? this state needs to be introduced to the concept of four seasons. it's not just a fancy hotel!)

I had some very good pals in town last wknd, and as the four of us sat in a corner booth and drank our margaritas we talked a lot about our futures and where each of us might be five years from now. I'm not really much of a life planner -- I tend to float around between having some goals, working hard, never burning bridges, and mixing it up once in a while -- but it was fun to imagine how things might change in the next few years. it boggles my mind to realize that I'm already at a stage where friends of mine are making huge life decisions. in fact, babies and diamond rings and houses were popular topics of conversation that wknd. I found myself amazed to even be involved in the discussion, since there's still a very large part of me that feels very unsettled. kids? husband? buying a house? um... howzabout I take some shots and bat my eyes at that cute guy down at the end of the bar instead? (I'm kidding. I don't really do that... much.) I guess you could say I've made some big life choices as well, though. it's funny: sometimes I get so busy marveling at the fact that everyone around me is growing up so quickly that I lose track of the fact that I'm doing the same thing in my own special little way.

so, then, to go back to the margarita-soaked conversation, I was surprised to discover that I am expected to strike it rich as a corporate whore and live a fabulously privileged life of international vacations and posh habits. um, what? me? the girl who made the impressive post-college salary of $25,000 while her boyfriend at the time was making closer to $60k? surely you jest.

it definitely got me thinking, though. putting babies and diamonds and houses aside for a minute, do you have a dream job? is there such a job or do you think your definition of a dream job changes all the time? or does it change as you go through different life stages? and if you can quickly name one dream job off the top of your head, why aren't you going for it? I don't think I really have one -- it goes back to my whole I'm not really a planner shtick -- but I think I'm getting to a place where I'm realizing that Tejas, it's been fun and all, but it mayyyyy be time to move on to the Next Great Adventure. bring it on!

now if someone could just tell me what that will be...