in praise of weekends

according to our wise friends over at wikipedia, a weekend is "a part of the week lasting one or two days in which most paid workers do not work." it tells us about the historical roots of the weekend and how it plays a significant role in many religious communities (shabbat, sunday worship, and the church of the sunday morning coffee-and-a-crossword). it's something that does not require much explanation or thought -- just say the word "weekend" and immediately people know what you're talking about. it's something that is simultaneously precious and ephemeral (where did the weekend go?), yet also completely ordinary in its frequency (i can't wait for next weekend).

so, then, it takes a lot to make a perfect weekend. there are those weekends that you spend celebrating occasions (like my dear friend naomi, who got engaged this past weekend -- congrats nay!! so happy for you and adam), weekends in which you're traveling or taking a road trip to a fun new city, and shitty weekends in which you're working the whole time or doing some horribly unexciting, like doing your taxes or cleaning the toilet.

there's also the normal weekend in which nothing particular is planned and nothing special is going on. but do not be fooled, friends -- these normal weekends are delicate objects that can easily be pushed into one direction or another, filled with so many chores and errands that you run yourself ragged or characterized by such ridiculous laziness and sloth that you feel like you've somehow lost 10 million brain cells and gained 10 million pounds by the time sunday night rolls around.

...which is why you have me, your resident normal weekend expert. i've listed below a variety of things from my weekend that, when combined together, make up for the perfect "normal" weekend. note that these activities do not necessarily need to take place in any particular order; in fact, normal weekends are generally more successfully when they are not overly planned out.

the list:

1. scrambled eggs and turkey bacon
2. sleeping in
3. phone calls with old friends
4. stocking up on delicious new books
5. devouring your delicious new books while sitting by the pool in the hot texas sun until you get so hot and sweaty you need to a dip. make sure you dry off when you get back to your chair so you don't drip all over your new book.
6. all-you-can-eat sushi and plum saketinis
7. freshly pedicured feet with sparkly pink toenails
8. nights on the town where you get to hear great old music (e.g.: "it's friday night, and the weekend's here, it's time to unwind, where's the par-tay... heyyyyy mr. DJ" and "you. are. on.my.mind... everything little thing you do, you're on my mind, you're on my mind.")
9. ice-cold greyhounds with fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice
10. going from bar to bar in a pedicab instead of a taxi
11. dirty dancing on TV ("one minute i'm eating JUJUbees to stay alive and the next minute women are stuffing diamonds in my pocket")
12. long workouts at the gym
13. freshly laundered clothes
14. watching bridget jones's diary while drinking wine (i.e., an entire bottle of wine -- just felt that was appropriate given the choice of movie)

not included on the list: getting my toe stepped on and broken in half by an enormous man who seriously must be a linebacker or quarterback or something. he was extremely apologetic and it was clearly a mistake, but seriously, he was a huge son of a bitch and my toenail throbbed for the next hour. also not included on the list: the beginning of what might be a stye (sty?) in my left eye. not exactly a sexy look. oh, and of course, my wise decision to buy a cute new lampshade with gold metal highlights for my new mix-and-match lamp, the base of which is... silver. alas. i guess you can't always get your way, eh? and if the worst part of my life right now is the fact that my lamp doesn't match, then hell, i guess i have things pretty good...