odds and ends

i'm back from my brief sojourn into sunny-ish california (i'm goin, goin, back, back, to cali, cali)... back to a hot and sunny austin week and a towering pile of work, that is. quite the reality call, unfortunately.

since i am currently too scatter-brained to write a proper post, i present you instead with a random collection of things that have amused me lately:

1. the spam email i got today in which the subject line read "grapefruit smugly." you know, b/c grapefruiting is a verb and i apparently need to learn how to do it more smugly. so much more entertaining and thought-provoking than the penis enlargement spam i usually get (b/c that clearly doesn't require much thought, really... apply magic potion, lather in, rinse and repeat, see amazing results "grow" before your very eyes!).
2. the assortment of things you can find on craig's list, including a gun rack (a lighted gun rack, nonetheless) and monkey decorations.
3. the woman in LAX airport who was using her (cheap, ugly, bright orange, ill-fitting) cotton orange tank top and her (non-secured, sagging, running wild and free) breasts as a convenient holder for her boarding pass. why didn't I think of that?! it's the female equivalent to the front pocket in a man's shirt. breasts as boarding pass holder. i could patent the idea and make a fortune.
4. the couple on our cruise that were sporting matching hawaiian-print outfits. oh, yes. they were probably in their early sixties or so, a nice-looking grandma-and-grandpa type who clearly thought their matching outfits were OH SO COOL. grandma was wearing a beige dress with a hawaiian floral print, and grandpa was pimpin' in a beige blazer with the same fabric. several of my co-workers surreptitiously snapped photos of the pair, which i will definitely upload if i get my hands on them. hilarity, i tell you.