Monday, July 09, 2007


the whirlwind tour of canada and north carolina has come to an end, and I have reluctantly returned to my regular workday schedule. charlotte was awesome -- for you new-ish JMWT readers, my college buddies have an annual Redneck Yacht Club meeting @ my friend Erin's parents' lake house in NC. it's very serious. you must wear redneck gear (I wore a John Deere hat), you must be willing to "pop the top @ 10 am" and you must listen to country music while out on the boat. oh, and you must be willing to imbibe unhealthy amounts of alcohol whilst consuming piles of delicious bbq ribs.

I came back to Austin feeling exhausted, dehydrated, tanned, and incredibly lucky to have the friendships that I have. these are amazing, interesting, accomplished, kind, hilarious, kick-ass, talented women (and men, of course, but it's mainly about the women) who are loyal friends and, most importantly, upstanding members of the Redneck Yacht Club.

as I went into work this morning, I faced the worst possible coming-back-to-work-after-vaca scenario: an all-day client meeting (dun dun dun DUNNNNNN -- beethoven). all I could think about throughout the entire meeting was "why did I choose TODAY to wear these pants?" I had decided to resurrect some fabulous white slacks that had long been languishing in the back of my closet. I paired them with black heels, a black three-quarter sleeve blouse and a turquoise chunky necklace (long pants and long sleeves being necessary because I still have residual marks from the Attack of the Killer Canadian Mosquitoes)... and then as I sat down in my meeting, I realized why I never wear these pants.

they are high-waisted pants.

read: normal waist.

as in: practically up to my belly button. channeling the Mom Jean. cutting off my circulation at every possible moment. as in: please kill me now, I am dying over here in these pants.

it was seriously all I could think about all day. that and "why do these heels hurt my feet so badly" and "why did they choose to have barbecue for today's client lunch when I am totally wearing white pants?" and "what possessed me to buy natural-waist pants?" and "how do women wear these every day?"

I mentally whined all day. work drama. all-day meetings. staying until 7:45 when your mind is completely dead. uncomfortable pants. uncomfortable shoes. leftover prescription anti-histamine grogginess. gross feelings of "all I've done for the past week and a half is drink obscene amounts of alcohol, OMG I want to go on a long, long run but it is too hot outside." whine, whine, whine.

so the first thing I did when I came home (at 8 pm, argh) was shuck off the offending pants, take off the constricting button-down shirt, change into a tank top and underwear and nothing else, flop on the bed and call my friend E to catch up.

life is now officially good.


At 6:40 AM, Blogger Erica said...

i told katie my microwave analogy and she, too, thought it was brilliant. i might write a book.

ps - i am reading your blog at 7:30 am because i am waiting for my car to get inspected. another day where i will want to curl under my desk for a nap by 9:45.... hope your day is better today!

At 10:27 AM, Blogger Austin Chick said...

ugh... that sounds like hell. I hate it when I think I have resurrected something amazing from the back of my closet and then later realize that it was in the back for a reason.
The white pants sound evil. I would suggest goodwill.... but there is no good will in passing along something desperately uncomfortable...
I wore this dress that had "boning" in it to a work thing once. At somepoint, I realized sitting wasn't an option. Too bad it was a sitdown dinner. I felt like Scarlett... only at least she was used to the torture.
After I was liberated from said offending and constrictive garment of evil, I don't think I wore anything with a waistband for at least a week afterwards.
if only tank tops and granny panties were work appropriate...

At 1:03 PM, Blogger L Sass said...

Attack of the high waisted pants!! They have been threatening to come back in style... if they do, will you lead the protest?

At 8:06 PM, Anonymous Will said...

I am *still* dehydrated.

At 8:53 PM, Anonymous Mandy said...

hey! a new blog to check out. she is awesome (and you must watch the fat rant, second youtube vid from the bottom)


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