attack of the killer canadian mosquitoes

you'll be glad to know that despite combined efforts of Paula's incredibly hard-partying friends, the wonderful lure that is Toronto and venomous flock of canadian killer mosquitoes, I have survived my trip to Oh Canada and lived to tell the tale. it wasn't without a ferocious fight on their parts, however, as the non-stop partying of these crazy canadians' annual Paula's birthday / Canada Day blowout was fierce to say the least. when I (stupidly) suggested that I was tired around 2 a.m. on Fri night, they gave me a look that made me realize just how blasphemous my words had been. staying up until sunrise was a normal thing, so we spent our days/nights hanging out on the lake, drinking, playing bocce ball, drinking, grilling, drinking, sitting in the hot tub, drinking, building bonfires, drinking, stargazing, drinking, setting off fireworks, drinking and roasting marshmallows. oh, and did I mention the drinking? holy crap. I'm surprised my liver still functions.

as a whole, I must say that our neighbors to the north are indeed a friendly people, they do indeed mispronounce "out" and do indeed say "eh?" after every single sentence. it's a funny place, that Canada -- I kept on giggling because I just felt like it was a fake America... which, I'm sure, is something only a presumptuous, self-absorbed American would say, but I can't help it! it's just so bizarre. I will say, however, that I was very impressed with a few things in particular:

1) lay's ketchup chips - why don't we have these in the states? hot damn they are good. potato chips + ketchup = it's like the best of both worlds. I brought two bags back with me to prolong the goodness.
2) tim horton's (aka timmy ho's, heh, I like that version better) - like dunkin donuts, but perhaps slightly better, and on every single street corner. fantastic coffee, excellent timbits (like holes).
3) cesars - bloody mary made with clamato juice (clam juice + tomato juice). spicier than most average bloody marys and with a slightly more complex flavor.
4) toronto - what's not to like? an international city, clean, polite, cultured, great food, lots of bars, a young and upwardly population.
5) the "cottage" life - everyone has cottages here (as opposed to lake houses). you pack a cooler, a tent, some cesars, and you hit the road. aside from the seven-hour car trip we endured on the way back to Toronto on Mon night, it was fantastic.

I've saved the only negative bit for last = Attack of the Killer Canadian Mosquitoes. holy crap. when I say that I am covered in mosquito bites, I am not exaggerating. the only reason I'm not uploading a picture as proof is a) because I like you all and do not want to scare you away and b) my camera is at home. apparently I got eaten alive by mosquitoes and then had a severe allergic reaction to them -- severe enough that I went to the dermatologist today to get a steroid shot and some prescription-strength antihistamine. I am also considering bathing in calamine lotion for the foreseeable future. the worst part? I am going on another vacation tmw morning (to another lake house, ah yes, this is the pimped out life that I lead) and am supposed to spend the entire wknd in a bathing suit. I'm not sure if I can achieve this without scaring small children and people with sensitive digestive systems, but I will do my best and report my results back to you all.

happy belated 4th!