Monday, July 10, 2006


how to create a fantastically relaxing wknd away:

begin with a fabulous group of beloved old college buddies. add piles and piles of delicious home-cooked food and copious amounts of chilled alcoholic beverages. add one (1) pimped out boat and tons of good jams (note: this recipe can be customized for eco-dorks by adding in extra rotations of a certain gnarls barkley song). once these elements have been confirmed, start boozing constantly. enjoy the company of good friends while cruising around lake wylie on the aforementioned pimped-out boat or sitting around the mattingly fire pit with homemade desserts. enjoy with generous amounts of warm carolina sunshine (not to be confused with scorching texas heat) and a healthy dollop of mattingly hospitality.

bonus points for all things redneck, including, but not limited to:
1) wearing wifebeaters that come down mid-thigh
2) using beer coozies
3) listening to country music (well, as much as you can take)
4) showing up at the door draped in a confederate flag
5) drinking your beer with lots of twang (purchased by yours truly at a gas station - yee fucking haw)

combine everything, add in the 25th birthday of a very dear friend, and you have all the elements of a true Redneck Yacht Club meeting.

for those of you who try this at home - note that you will lose points for any of the following:
1) having to fly standby and turning a 3-hour journey into a 12-hour one
2) losing your wedding ring in the lake
3) being a snoring bedmate that hogs the bed
4) getting the mattingly dogs drunk by spilling wine everywhere


At 4:02 PM, Anonymous Will said...

So I assume (in the loss column) 1 was you and I know who 4 was. (I apologize for her behavior.) What about 2 and 3?

And don't those of us who couldn't make it lose even more points?

At 7:48 AM, Anonymous lix said...

i submit that getting the dogs drunk actually added to the Redneckidness of the RNYC2K6. i'm just sayin.


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