Thursday, December 21, 2006

ask the blogger

dear Katie from Charlottesville:

please forgive me for the delayed response to your interesting question. this blogger has been too busy attending various holiday parties, going to the Austin Ballet, having culinary successes (i roasted my first chicken! and then made a chicken soup from the bones! i RULE!) and taking one-hour lunches in the middle of the work day (that didn't start until 10:30, ahem) to update her blog.

so, then, to answer your question:


thank you, the end.

(who wants to ask the blogger next?! especially since i give such satisfying answers to questions??)

ok, well then i'll answer a question that absolutely nobody asked and tell you how to roast a chicken instead:
  1. buy a chicken from the grocery store (very important step)
  2. rinse the chicken in cold water and pat dry with paper towels. consider giving him a name. always good to bond with your food and appreciate the animal that has given up its life to satisfy your gastronomic needs.
  3. oh yeah, preheat the oven to 475 degrees. and make sure nothing's in there (i.e. a stray pan or something) because that would lead to major suckage.
  4. also, make sure you have a roasting pan. and a nice rack too (of the cooking variety, not the breast-related variety! geez. get your mind out of the gutter).
  5. okay, back to the chicken. pour some olive oil in your hands (you might want to wash them first, you dirty, dirty person) and then slather it all over the birdie.
  6. on the washing hands thing, make sure you clean everything a billion times so that you don't get salmonella poisoning (salmonella!! is very fun to say).
  7. next, cover the birdie with a million spices. you can keep it nice and simple with lots of s&p (i used sea salt and freshly ground black pepper), or mix it up with lemon pepper or whatever floats your boat. the olive oil should help the spices stick to the chicken. don't skimp out on the seasonings or else you will have a bland, sad chicken and NOBODY LIKES a bland, sad chicken.
  8. take some fresh herbs and stick them into the hollowed-out cavity (btw, if your grocery store leaves in the innards then... throw them away. or gross out somebody that annoys you by putting them in a pretty gift bag and leaving it on their doorstep. or whatever. but don't forget to take them out of there). i used lots of fresh rosemary.
  9. next, take a bunch of garlic cloves and stick them in the little nooks and crannies of the bird (in the thigh crook, wing joints, etc etc etc). as you're looking for garlic hiding spots try not to look at the hole where the poor birdie's head would have been, because that will make you feel bad. alas.
  10. wow, good job! now stick the bird in the oven for 20 minutes or so so that the skin can get nice and brown and crispy.
  11. drink several glasses of wine and prep some potatoes to toss in with the chicken (with s&p and olive oil and maybe some leftover rosemary).
  12. turn the heat down to 400-ish and let roast for another 45 mins to an hour (i think the rule is 20 minutes per pound of chicken or something like that). oh, and toss the potatoes into pan.
  13. finally, check with meat thermometer to make sure it's cooked thoroughly (an uncooked chicken is even worse than a bland, sad chicken) and look to see if the juices run clear, not red. if it's done, take it out and let it rest for 15-20 minutes before cutting.
  14. have some more wine, pull off some yummy chicken parts and hot potatoes and enjoy!



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